i feel shit for the pass 4 weeks.
alone at home, alone in campus, had my dinner alone, walked alone, bathed alone, slept alone, cried alone.
missing someone even worsen the entire scenario.
i wish that you were here with me, but we stuck where we are,
and it's so hard, you're so far.

it's been a while i never update my blog. things changed a lot until i've forgotten there is still a place for me to rest on. my blog. i've been so helpless and don't know where should i rely on. friends are not long lasting or forever. even i newly-met friends can just ignore my existence while i actually meet them everyday. they went off without telling, hang out without inviting, just make me feel lemonade. feel bad that i do not have some true friends to rely on, i dont think my 18 year old going smooth. imagine you were 18 and you couldnt even find friends that really care. it feels like shit, desperately finding some holes to hide in. let me be alone will do.. rather than found some friends that eventually dump me after some days and yet without any reason.